Aaaand, here’s my analogy (I know you knew it was coming) -
In our lives don’t we put everything together incorrectly, desperately try to figure out a way to fix what we’ve done by using various alternative methods and then in the end realize that we just have to let it all go and start from scratch - even if it means everything has to be torn apart first?
As women, we control and nag our husbands to the point where we’ve essentially neutered them. We realize that they are broken and don’t work right, so we try everything within our arsenal to try to fix them. We nag, we insult, we use passive aggressive tactics, we seek counsel from our friends, but we don’t want to actually do what God says and allow them to lead us. We say we want a strong, spiritual leader but every time they try to make a decision we either ignore it or argue with them to the point where the drama of talking to us has overshadowed any attempts they have made at leadership. Instead of letting God do his thing and get our men to where they need to be, we step in and fix the things we think they are screwing up. When in reality, sometimes we just need to bolster ourselves and then let things fall apart. We may be what is standing in our husband’s ways. Our controlling actions, making excuses for bad behavior, and shielding them from the truth may actually be stopping them from hitting the low point they need to in order to realize that a real change needs to happen. God didn’t tell wives to submit to their husbands as long as we think they are making good decisions. He just said submit. If that means you end up homeless and penniless, He still wants us to trust him enough to let Him build things back up after they fall apart.
As parents we make lots and lots of mistakes too. But instead of admitting that our issues stem from spiritual missteps, we cover things up and avoid the real issues. My son or daughter is having sex with their girlfriend or boyfriend…we should just try to make sure they are being responsible and give them condoms and birth control. My school aged kids are disrespectful and out of control…they must need diet changes or medication (goodness knows how wheat can make your kids cuss out teachers). My grown children act irresponsibly or even illegally…until they can get it together on their own, they need my continued financial support, 24 hour free babysitting services, and unrestricted access to whatever help they may need. Let’s not fool ourselves though parents, in reality, our children need to be beaten over the head and butts with God’s truths. And if they refuse God’s instruction, we need to let things fall apart and rebuild them according to God’s instructions, not Dr. Phil’s. If your teenage daughter gets kicked out of the house and ends up pregnant, God can fix her. If your child gets bad grades, gets suspended from school, and even fails a grade, God can fix them. If your adult child gets mad at you and stops speaking to you, God can fix them and he can bring you peace.
You can’t fix everything according to your own feelings and wishes. There are ways that seem right to us but in the end just lead to destruction. (Proverbs 14:12) Yeah, I know. We think we are doing what’s best. But just because WE think it is best, that doesn’t make it true. Just do what the Bible says. Even if you think it doesn’t make sense. Even if you think it won’t work. And then just keep doing it. And do it even if things seem to be getting worse. Sometimes we have messed things up so badly that we have to let things fall apart before God can rebuild them.
“But the jar he was making did not turn out as he had hoped, so he crushed it into a lump of clay again and started over.” Jeremiah 18:4