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The Man Behind the Vision

10/11/2014

6 Comments

 
Picture
This is my husband and I when we were dating.  I ran across it today and sat and stared, just thinking about how much we have both changed since then.  As I looked at it, I realized that I struggled with my weight back then and I was probably 150 pounds lighter than I am now.  In this picture we were going to a BBQ and for some reason I needed a shirt to wear.  I probably spilled something on my shirt (which I pretty much do every time I eat).  He had an extra shirt and so I put it on.  I was embarrassed because it fit me tighter than it did him.  Nevermind the fact that there are some obvious, non-weight related reasons as to why (and where) it was tight.

Thinking about that shirt got me thinking about other thoughts I had back then surrounding my weight.  

- I remember wondering if he was actually attracted to me.  
- I wondered if he was embarrassed to introduce me to his friends.  
- I remember being embarrassed when we'd do something sports related and I'd get out of breath    before him (despite the fact that he was very athletic and probably had more stamina than most  people - even the ones who were in shape).  
- I even remember thinking he could do so much better and if I wasn't careful, he was going to wake  up and realize it.

Fast forward to today - eleven happy years, 2 beautiful sons, and 150 pounds later.  My thoughts have changed.

- I know that he loves me and is attracted to me.
- I know that he sees me as a asset to his life and is proud of who I am.
- I feel so comfortable with him that I couldn't care less if he sees me hyperventilating and sweaty.
- And while I still do think that he deserves better, I now think he just deserves a better ME, not        someone else.

Today is my birthday (thanks to my sister Allison for doing the math and proving to me that I am turning 38, not 39).  My goal is that two years from today I will have lost 200 pounds.

In order to help me reach this goal, I am going to make a vision board.  A vision board is exactly what it sounds like.  It's a board or poster where you put pictures, sayings, scriptures, or basically whatever you want to put on it in order to remind you of your goals and your vision.  It is just a physical reminder that helps you to keep your motivation in the front of your mind and provide clarity to the end result.

This picture is going to be the first thing I put on it.  I want to be better for me, but I also want to be better for my husband.

- He deserves someone who is going to be there for him until he is old and gray(er).
- He works hard to keep himself healthy and in shape for me (he pretty much looks exactly the same  as he did then *gag*), and I want to get back to looking and feeling like the woman he married.
- I love him with all my heart and hate to see him upset.  I know that the mental stress I put myself  through about my weight causes him to feel helpless because he wants to make me feel better and he  can't fix it...only I can.
- He loves tennis and I've NEVER played a game with him (unless you count the time he served  towards me and I ran away from the ball that seemed to be coming at me at warp speed).  I want to  be able to go to the park or the gym and actually be able to make it look like we are playing a real  match - not like some guy whizzing balls at a screaming, ducking newbie.

Long story short, I love Alfred.  I love the way that he has loved me for the past twelve years (if you count the time we dated).  He is a one of the major reasons I want to be better.  On the days when I feel like I am not worth the effort, I will look at my new vision board and remember that it's not just about me any more.
6 Comments
LaShante
10/12/2014 10:27:34 pm

Rhonda I am so very proud of you! You are an incredible Christian wife and mother that I am happy to call my friend. Alfred is so blessed to have you on his arm, in his heart and as his soul mate/help mate! You are beautiful and strong inside and out! Remember you can do anything through Christ and He will be here to carry you through!
You are correct that the only thing he deserves is the BEST you and you should only be in a competition with yourself being a better person today than you were yesterday! 1 day at a time!!!!
You got this sweet sister, I am behind you all the way,
LaShante

Reply
Rhonda
10/13/2014 12:44:27 am

Thanks LaShante! :)

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Ken Weliever link
10/13/2014 11:02:47 pm

Thanks for your openness, honesty and transparency Rhonda! Very refreshing. BTW, you might like to contact a friend of mine and a fellow gospel preacher, Wes Key, in Grinnell, Iowa, he's lost over 120# in the past 18 months and is doing great. He might have some tips. You can find him on facebook

Reply
Rhonda
10/15/2014 03:44:13 pm

Thanks! I sent him a message and a friend request. Appreciate the contact (and the compliments). :) Looking forward to having you hear again in the future (or so I hear).

And congrats on the beautiful grandbaby.

Reply
Linda
10/13/2014 11:20:06 pm

I'm here for you - remember?

Reply
Rhonda
10/14/2014 02:04:27 pm

Linda...I have not forgotten. :)

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