My younger sister is getting married exactly one month from yesterday. First of all, it freaks me out because it seems like it was just yesterday that I could trick her into doing anything for me simply by promising her that she could be my “best buddy.” Secondly, it freaks me out because I had big plans of losing about twenty pounds before her wedding in order to fit in my dress better. Well, I am about five pounds down but it looks like I’m still going to need some Spanx.
Actually, I’m thinking about reviving the whole corset trend. I’d be ok with having someone lace me up so tightly that I couldn’t breathe in order to look like I had a thin waist. No pain, no gain, right? I mean it’s not that different from control top panty hose or body slimmers. They just look a lot cooler. I’m all for reviving petticoats and those cute little parasols as well.
If we all wore corsets and big hoop skirts instead of body slimmers, we wouldn’t have to worry about things like the waistband rolling down at inopportune moments, that line on your back and thighs where the spandex ends and the flesh begins to overflow, or trying to get everything off quickly in the event that you are about to pee your pants.
Instead of wearing the bra to knee girdle, we could just squeeze everything down (much like a tube of toothpaste) and hide it underneath the flowing, feminine skirt. This would eliminate the awful muffin-top trend that has arisen since the low rise jean has become so popular as well.
Actually, I’m thinking about reviving the whole corset trend. I’d be ok with having someone lace me up so tightly that I couldn’t breathe in order to look like I had a thin waist. No pain, no gain, right? I mean it’s not that different from control top panty hose or body slimmers. They just look a lot cooler. I’m all for reviving petticoats and those cute little parasols as well.
If we all wore corsets and big hoop skirts instead of body slimmers, we wouldn’t have to worry about things like the waistband rolling down at inopportune moments, that line on your back and thighs where the spandex ends and the flesh begins to overflow, or trying to get everything off quickly in the event that you are about to pee your pants.
Instead of wearing the bra to knee girdle, we could just squeeze everything down (much like a tube of toothpaste) and hide it underneath the flowing, feminine skirt. This would eliminate the awful muffin-top trend that has arisen since the low rise jean has become so popular as well.
So who is with me? I need a lacing up partner with really strong arms. This girl’s got a lot of waist that needs to be shaped.
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