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"Stop Being So Sensitive"

4/30/2014

2 Comments

 
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"Black people get to say the n word but we can’t, they must be racists against themselves."

"Why do black people get their own special scholarships and programs?  If we had them for white people, we’d be called racists."

"Think it’s hard being black?  Try being a white male in America today."
"People just need to stop being so sensitive."

"Slavery ended 150 years ago."

"My grandpa wasn’t racist, he was just raised that way."

"I just feel sorry for kids who are mixed…it’s not that I have a problem with interracial marriage."

I really wanted to avoid this topic because honestly, I feel like it is hardly ever beneficial to discuss.  Like many other hot topics, people are not usually interested in examining their hearts to see if they are where they should be, they are interested in defending their long held views or personal beliefs.

But I can tell you this, if you have said any of those statements at the beginning of this blog, you don’t get it.  I’m not calling you (or your grandpa) a racist.  I’m not saying you have a black heart and are looking to obliterate certain ethnicities off of the face of the earth.  I believe that at your heart you are a loving, good willed person who, in regards to this very deep seeded and very sensitive matter, have some misconceptions about the way things really are today.

Ten years prior to the year I was born, it was still illegal in several states for a black person and a white person to marry one another.  Today, I have been happily married to a black man for nearly 10 years.  We have two very mentally healthy, intelligent, and racially well adjusted boys.  I have three siblings who are black.  I have family members on both sides that are married to Hispanics or blacks.  We have a black president for Pete’s sake.  I am thankful every day for the progress that this country has made in a very short time in regards to race relations.

But don’t fool yourself into thinking that it is gone.  I have still been called a nigger lover.  My husband has been called a nigger.  My children have been called niggers and half-breeds.  We have received printed flyers for the Aryan Nation in our mailbox. My husband, who is a law abiding citizen and minster of the Gospel, has been pulled out of his car at 2 a.m., frisked against a wall and had dogs called out to sniff for drugs as a cop accused him of throwing marijuana out of the window.  My younger brother who has cerebral palsy had a school mate stand over him as he laid on the ground and tell him “I don’t like black people.”

I’ve been told that I don’t seem like the type to date (or in my case marry) a black person.  My husband has been told that he is very well spoken ‘for a black man.”  People poorly imitate a stereotypical black dialect out of the blue as they talk to us sometimes, and whenever it is dark, I prepare myself to cringe because without fail someone always makes the “where are you Alfred, I can’t see you” joke.  People make offensive jokes to our faces because we don’t seem like the type to be offended (whatever that type is).  We were once invited to dinner by a woman who over the dinner table told this joke in front of our then two or three year old son - “How are black people and apples alike?  They both look good hanging from trees.”  And she actually thought we would find humor in it.  How are we supposed to respond to that?

My point is not to convince you that you or your loved ones are card carrying members of the KKK (which still does exist by the way).  I’m not trying to convince you that racism is just as prominent today as it was 50 years ago.  And don’t think that I am saying that just because you are white, your spouse is white, and your whole family is white that you are a racist.  Heck, I am white and am not a proponent of white guilt.  But what I am trying to convince you of is that in your vehement denial that racism is still an issue, you seem ignorant and insensitive to real issues that black (or whatever other minority you choose to include here) people still have to deal with, sometimes on a daily basis.  Don’t make comments implying that people just need to “get over it” or “stop being so sensitive.”  How would you feel if you were in a predominantly black environment and as they hurled insults or subtle innuendo your way or at your loved ones, you were told to just chill out?

This is obviously in response to the whole LA Clippers/Jerry Sterling fiasco.  And that is just what it is - a fiasco.  The man is immoral.  The girl who recorded him is immoral.  His wife is immoral.  The fact that you can be recorded in the privacy of your home and have it used against you is ludicrous.  Black rappers are making comments about white people…they are immoral too.

So here is the bottom line that we have been taught since we were five years old, “Do to others whatever you would like them to do to you. This is the essence of all that is taught in the law and the prophets.” Matthew 7:12

Don’t be surprised to see immoral people act in immoral ways.  But also don’t defend immorality and wave it away as imaginary just because you yourself haven’t experienced it.

2 Comments
Joel
5/1/2014 05:43:59 pm

I just want to say that your post is wonderful and well thought out. I'm 29 days away from being married to my beautiful black wife and I'm white. I used to say those things and I am guilty of having those thoughts. I wish more people would open their eyes and learn about the other side instead of what they think they know.

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Rhonda
5/1/2014 09:03:43 pm

Thank you Joel.

My dad used to hold a lot of racist beliefs and was against the idea of me dating a black man. Then our family began doing foster care and many of the children that they took care of were black. It wasn't until then that he was able to see that we are all the same. Today he loves my husband and children to death and my parents have adopted three black children (some of which are now grown). It takes different things to open different people's eyes.

Congratulations on your upcoming wedding!

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