Stuff Your Faith
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So Embarrassed

10/9/2013

6 Comments

 
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Ugh. This is one of those blogs that I really don’t want to write.  I always pray before I write and ask God to just help guide me in saying something that will be beneficial to someone who is reading it.  Sometimes his response is clear.  Today is one of those days.  Today I realized that what draws people to reading my blog (all three of you) is that I have always done my best to be real and honest with you.

As the blog has grown and gotten a wider audience and I’ve gotten lots of comments from people with different opinions about my weight loss struggles, I have put up those walls that I talked about in yesterday’s post.  I guess it’s the fear of hearing people say that I just don’t want it enough, or the fear of discouraging you that has held me back from being up front about everything.

So back to the spirit of keeping it real, I feel like you should know…Since the beginning of this journey I have put ON ten pounds.  I pretty much stopped exercising and I fell back into old eating habits.  I threw in a “good day” here and there, but for the most part I wasn’t making healthy choices.  And because of that, I am seeing the results.

It’s just so difficult.  I don’t want to sound like a whiny baby, but it’s true.  In addition to battling my flesh and trying to not eat things I shouldn’t, I am battling doubt in my mind.  Every time I make an effort to do well and then fall off the wagon, it’s just more fuel on the “you will never be able to do this” fire.

I don’t want pity.  I don’t want advice.  I really don’t want you to look at my situation and be discouraged or disgusted or have any other negative feelings.  I just want you to know.  It helps to keep me honest with myself if I know that you are still watching.

I haven’t given up.  Today marks the 3rd successful day of serious effort.  It’s a small victory but I am focusing on getting through one day at a time.  I’m tracking and monitoring my calories and my water intake. I am making sure to include fruit or vegetables with every meal. I’ve gotten a few books/resources from people who I trust and who have been through this fight themselves.  I plan on dedicating some time to reading those in an effort to get motivated again mentally.  I plan on spending more time in prayer surrounding my health, and if you really want to help me, you can join me in that effort.

Thanks for hanging in there with me.  Maybe this is the beginning of the end of a long string of failures.  Every successful journey has to start somewhere!

6 Comments
Sheila Havens
10/9/2013 02:17:33 am

I love reading these and relate very much.

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Stacy Elder
10/9/2013 03:00:38 am

Thank you for being real and truthful. I love reading your blog. I can relate to it so much! I have failed too many times to count. I always say it's ok, I'll start again on Monday.......I struggle every single day with my eating habits and exercising! I am doing better here lately, but still have a L-O-N-G way to go! ! Thank you for keeping it real :)

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Angela
10/9/2013 03:15:18 am

Thanks for keeping it real. I don't know of anyone who is on this weight loss road that hasn't messed up at one point or another. Just keep on going. You are in my prayers!

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DK
10/9/2013 04:21:52 am

What can we do to help?

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Rhonda
10/9/2013 05:16:14 am

I HONESTLY think the most helpful thing people can do for me is to pray. Knowing that others are praying for me is very motivating. Pray that I have success, that I learn to enjoy living healthy, and that I pass along good habits to my kids. And pray that somehow through it all, I can use it as a ministry to help other people.

Reply
DK
10/10/2013 07:04:37 am

Already have been & will continue to. Love you girl!

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