Stuff Your Faith
  • home
  • About
  • photo diary
  • journal
  • contact

Shhhh

4/16/2013

2 Comments

 
Picture
My husband is black.  Inevitably, whenever he gets around people who may not have a lot of experience being around other black people, the same old jokes come out.  When it’s dark out, that’s the worst…”Where are you, I can’t see you.” or the old standby “I can only see the whites of your eyes.”  And every now and then he still gets the fried chicken jokes or the watermelon jokes.  When we hear them, we just politely laugh and inwardly roll our eyes.  We know the people aren’t being malicious…it’s just surprising that they think they are being clever.  Sometimes people just don’t know what to say or what not to say unless they are told.  So today, I’m going to tell you how NOT to talk to a fat girl.

“You have such a pretty face!”  This one is the most common and one of the most offensive.  Because basically what we hear is, “You have such a pretty face.  It’s too bad the rest of you is a mess.”  Just avoid this one altogether.  Feel free to simply say, “You are pretty.”  That will suffice.   How would you feel if someone told you, “You have a great physique…but your face is struggling.”  Doesn’t feel so good.

“You aren’t fat.”  Hmm.  Really?  Interesting.  Either you are blind or in some weird state of cellulose denial that prohibits you from being able to objectively see the truth.  It’s ok.  We don’t want you to come out and just tell us we are fat out of the blue…but if it is stated by us, don’t feel the need to counter with a rebuttal.  We are aware.

“When are you due?”  Here is a good rule of thumb…unless you are looking at ultrasound pictures, just don’t ever say this to anyone.  Ever.

“You look just like (insert any famous fat woman here).”  It’s like saying that all Asian people look the same.  Just because someone is fat, they don’t automatically look like Roseanne Barr, Ricki Lake, Kathy Bates, Rosie O’Donnell, or Kristie Alley.  I’ve gotten all of those at some point or another.  Either my face has weird chameleon-esque tendencies or there are some other things at play here. 

“I am so fat.”  If you are smaller than the person you are talking to, can you see the implication?  And if you are a size 12 or under, you forfeit your fat card…you can’t say those words.  Sorry.

“Just eat less and exercise more.”  As I used to say in first grade…”No Duh!”  This is like telling a smoker that it’s bad for their health.  No need to state the obvious.  If the person you are talking to doesn’t already know this…there are probably deeper issues going on than just their weight.  I’m just sayin’.

These are just a few that I could think of off the top of my head.  You’d be surprised at how often we hear them though.  If you have said any of these things to one of us voluptuous gals in the past, we probably aren’t mad at you…just take this new information and move forward.  And remember what your mom would always tell you:  “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say nothing at all.”


2 Comments
Tina
4/16/2013 05:21:50 am

I agree and I get your point, and I can see why you wouldn't want to hear a size 12 or under say they are fat. However, just because someone is a size 12 or under doesn't mean they don't struggle to lose the same weight over and over again and have issues with food and self-control. Ready to wear clothing is made for certain heights and weights, and if you're over the optimum, it is hard to find clothes.

This may seem to be a ridiculous notion, but seriously, there are more people that can relate to your struggles than you realize. Also, a person that looks small to you may have high blood pressure and/or high cholesterol because of what they are doing/not doing to their bodies with food and exercise.

Everyone has a responsibility to take care of their bodies. Thank you for stepping up and saying so and for sharing your journey with us.

Reply
Jackie Welch
4/16/2013 05:46:03 am

I am now finally a size 14, still fat on the inside...still struggling. My kids are biracial, and I was once told I looked just like Rosie O'Donnell. I let my hair grow out after that.

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    Archives

    May 2017
    April 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    February 2016
    November 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013

    RSS Feed

  • home
  • About
  • photo diary
  • journal
  • contact
Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.