My husband is black. Inevitably, whenever he gets around people who may not have a lot of experience being around other black people, the same old jokes come out. When it’s dark out, that’s the worst…”Where are you, I can’t see you.” or the old standby “I can only see the whites of your eyes.” And every now and then he still gets the fried chicken jokes or the watermelon jokes. When we hear them, we just politely laugh and inwardly roll our eyes. We know the people aren’t being malicious…it’s just surprising that they think they are being clever. Sometimes people just don’t know what to say or what not to say unless they are told. So today, I’m going to tell you how NOT to talk to a fat girl.
“You have such a pretty face!” This one is the most common and one of the most offensive. Because basically what we hear is, “You have such a pretty face. It’s too bad the rest of you is a mess.” Just avoid this one altogether. Feel free to simply say, “You are pretty.” That will suffice. How would you feel if someone told you, “You have a great physique…but your face is struggling.” Doesn’t feel so good.
“You aren’t fat.” Hmm. Really? Interesting. Either you are blind or in some weird state of cellulose denial that prohibits you from being able to objectively see the truth. It’s ok. We don’t want you to come out and just tell us we are fat out of the blue…but if it is stated by us, don’t feel the need to counter with a rebuttal. We are aware.
“When are you due?” Here is a good rule of thumb…unless you are looking at ultrasound pictures, just don’t ever say this to anyone. Ever.
“You look just like (insert any famous fat woman here).” It’s like saying that all Asian people look the same. Just because someone is fat, they don’t automatically look like Roseanne Barr, Ricki Lake, Kathy Bates, Rosie O’Donnell, or Kristie Alley. I’ve gotten all of those at some point or another. Either my face has weird chameleon-esque tendencies or there are some other things at play here.
“I am so fat.” If you are smaller than the person you are talking to, can you see the implication? And if you are a size 12 or under, you forfeit your fat card…you can’t say those words. Sorry.
“Just eat less and exercise more.” As I used to say in first grade…”No Duh!” This is like telling a smoker that it’s bad for their health. No need to state the obvious. If the person you are talking to doesn’t already know this…there are probably deeper issues going on than just their weight. I’m just sayin’.
These are just a few that I could think of off the top of my head. You’d be surprised at how often we hear them though. If you have said any of these things to one of us voluptuous gals in the past, we probably aren’t mad at you…just take this new information and move forward. And remember what your mom would always tell you: “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say nothing at all.”
“You have such a pretty face!” This one is the most common and one of the most offensive. Because basically what we hear is, “You have such a pretty face. It’s too bad the rest of you is a mess.” Just avoid this one altogether. Feel free to simply say, “You are pretty.” That will suffice. How would you feel if someone told you, “You have a great physique…but your face is struggling.” Doesn’t feel so good.
“You aren’t fat.” Hmm. Really? Interesting. Either you are blind or in some weird state of cellulose denial that prohibits you from being able to objectively see the truth. It’s ok. We don’t want you to come out and just tell us we are fat out of the blue…but if it is stated by us, don’t feel the need to counter with a rebuttal. We are aware.
“When are you due?” Here is a good rule of thumb…unless you are looking at ultrasound pictures, just don’t ever say this to anyone. Ever.
“You look just like (insert any famous fat woman here).” It’s like saying that all Asian people look the same. Just because someone is fat, they don’t automatically look like Roseanne Barr, Ricki Lake, Kathy Bates, Rosie O’Donnell, or Kristie Alley. I’ve gotten all of those at some point or another. Either my face has weird chameleon-esque tendencies or there are some other things at play here.
“I am so fat.” If you are smaller than the person you are talking to, can you see the implication? And if you are a size 12 or under, you forfeit your fat card…you can’t say those words. Sorry.
“Just eat less and exercise more.” As I used to say in first grade…”No Duh!” This is like telling a smoker that it’s bad for their health. No need to state the obvious. If the person you are talking to doesn’t already know this…there are probably deeper issues going on than just their weight. I’m just sayin’.
These are just a few that I could think of off the top of my head. You’d be surprised at how often we hear them though. If you have said any of these things to one of us voluptuous gals in the past, we probably aren’t mad at you…just take this new information and move forward. And remember what your mom would always tell you: “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say nothing at all.”
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