That is one of my favorite lines from the Matrix. Agent Smith is talking to Neo as a train approaches, threatening to turn him into a pancake. It is also the line that runs through my head every time I think about the fact that I signed up to complete a charity 5K run this weekend to benefit He Lives For Kids - my best friend’s children’s ministry that sends care packages to boys and girls who have recently lost siblings like they did a few months ago.
To you it may only be 3.1 miles. But to me it is THREE POINT ONE MILES!!! I am embarrassingly out of shape and even the thought of walking it makes me want to sprain my ankle. Why just last night, I was wheezing after walking up those same kid’s driveway from the bottom of their hill. Come to think of it, I am starting to think those kids have it out for me.
I’ve mentioned that my husband and I have been walking for at least 30 minutes a day for the past week. But what I haven’t mentioned is that those thirty minutes for me feel like an eternity. Today, I seriously asked him how much time was left (thinking we were almost done). Much to my dismay, we had only been gone for 12 minutes. My lower back was tight. My upper back was tight. My shins hurt. I was out of breath and sweaty. Bless his heart, my husband tries to distract me with conversation, but he doesn’t realize that trying to fake being able to talk normally when you really can’t get a breath is a lot harder than it seems.
Have I mentioned that I weigh over 350 pounds? People who weigh that much don’t get that way because of our zeal for physical exertion. We stay that way because exercise is hard for us. Let’s say that you weigh 160 pounds. Imagine walking 3.1 miles while carrying 22 gallons of water on your back. Yeah, that is the approximate weight difference between you and I. So when my stare turns cold and icy after you say something like, “Awww, it’s not THAT far”, you now know why. Oh…AND I will be pushing an additional 30 pounds of stroller and baby boy in front of me along with my 22 gallons of fat. Did I mention that I am praying for rain?
OK. I am not really praying for rain. That would be mean. I love those kids and fully support the fact that they want to reach out to kids like themselves and spread a little of the love that they are so full of. I’m going to go and do my best. I may be the slowest finisher, but I’ll finish it. You may lap me a few times but I promise to not trip you (although I cannot promise that I won’t be tripping you in my mind).
So if you don’t have plans this Saturday and want to help out a good cause and live in the Chillicothe area (or are willing to travel to Chillicothe), feel free to come and join us at 9 AM at Triple Crown Family Fun Center. The registration fee is $20 and will go to He Lives For Kids. For your support, you will receive a t-shirt, free water at various stops along the way and best of all, you can walk behind me and hear noises like this: