Why oh why can’t I be one of those people who get all worked up about things? I would love to go on a tirade and just throw plates against a wall. Or maybe be so excited about something that I fall to my knees and pump my arms in the air like a tennis player after they win one of the majors. Just once I’d like to be so emotionally moved by something that I just weep openly without restraint of any sort. I think it’d be pretty freeing. I don’t feel like I purposely stuff my feelings down or anything - I just genuinely don’t get THAT emotionally charged about most things.
I know that being less emotional can be a good thing. I tend to keep a pretty level head during times of crisis. I am able to remain rational at times when others may be clouded by their anger or hurt feelings. I can even make it through multiple episodes of The Little House on the Prairie and keep my mascara in tact. Being a cyborg definitely has it’s advantages.
But one of the disadvantages of being a cold hearted and callous snake is that people, bless their hearts, try so hard to get me excited about this weight loss thing and try though I may, I can‘t get myself whipped up into a frenzy the way I‘d like to. I WANT to be like Cheri Oteri on Saturday Night Live when she plays Ariana, the Spartan Cheerleader. Just once I want to feel like Richard Simmons on the inside. But more often than not when people get perky and try to get me in pep rally moe while I am huffing and puffing or straining to do one more sit-up, I just want to punch them. Is that bad of me? I’m sorry, but it’s true. Not that I would ever do that mind you, but sometimes I really do want to. And if I’m being completely honest, sometimes even a spoken, “Great job” can make me want to roll my eyes. I know…I really am a terrible person.
And while I would love love love to feel charged up like Rocky Balboa did after climbing to the Russian mountaintop, what really matters is that despite my Grinchy attitude and my tendency towards mental violence, I keep going when I feel more like Ben Stein in Ferris Buellers Day Off than I do Rocky.
Maybe some day, with continued effort, I will get to a place where I can be one of those elusive people who actually thrive on doing bizarre things like couch to 5k’s, mud runs, or warrior dashes. But until then, I will keep doing my planks and trying to not clock people in the side of the head while doing so.
Hmm. As I write this, I am seeing some inconsistencies. Apparently I CAN get very emotional about some things. Maybe that’s a good sign of things to come.
I know that being less emotional can be a good thing. I tend to keep a pretty level head during times of crisis. I am able to remain rational at times when others may be clouded by their anger or hurt feelings. I can even make it through multiple episodes of The Little House on the Prairie and keep my mascara in tact. Being a cyborg definitely has it’s advantages.
But one of the disadvantages of being a cold hearted and callous snake is that people, bless their hearts, try so hard to get me excited about this weight loss thing and try though I may, I can‘t get myself whipped up into a frenzy the way I‘d like to. I WANT to be like Cheri Oteri on Saturday Night Live when she plays Ariana, the Spartan Cheerleader. Just once I want to feel like Richard Simmons on the inside. But more often than not when people get perky and try to get me in pep rally moe while I am huffing and puffing or straining to do one more sit-up, I just want to punch them. Is that bad of me? I’m sorry, but it’s true. Not that I would ever do that mind you, but sometimes I really do want to. And if I’m being completely honest, sometimes even a spoken, “Great job” can make me want to roll my eyes. I know…I really am a terrible person.
And while I would love love love to feel charged up like Rocky Balboa did after climbing to the Russian mountaintop, what really matters is that despite my Grinchy attitude and my tendency towards mental violence, I keep going when I feel more like Ben Stein in Ferris Buellers Day Off than I do Rocky.
Maybe some day, with continued effort, I will get to a place where I can be one of those elusive people who actually thrive on doing bizarre things like couch to 5k’s, mud runs, or warrior dashes. But until then, I will keep doing my planks and trying to not clock people in the side of the head while doing so.
Hmm. As I write this, I am seeing some inconsistencies. Apparently I CAN get very emotional about some things. Maybe that’s a good sign of things to come.
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