I hear it’s a normal part of the process. I hear that my body will adjust and the weight will start coming off again. I hear that as long as I just make good choices, the process works. I hear people say that you can lose inches even if the pounds aren’t going down. I hear people tell me that I’m looking well.
But if I hear those whispers in one ear, I have different voices screaming in my other ear.
You are messing this up. You’ve stretched your stomach out. You’re going to put all of the weight you’ve lost back on. You are fat and gross. You are right back where you started. You are a failure.
I know it sounds dramatic. And I don’t even like to vocalize the thoughts because I know how destructive that kind of thinking is. But if I’m being honest, they are still there - lurking and just waiting for the opportunity to jump in and sabotage any forward mental and physical progress I‘ve made.
In my own personal struggle, I have learned that negative self talk is harder to give up than soda, more addicting than sugar, and more destructive than Olive Garden’s Steak Gorgonzola Alfredo. And if I don’t keep it in check and at bay, it is quick to take over.
Overall, I’m still on the positive end of the mental spectrum. I recognize the forward progress I’ve made both physically and emotionally. But today I am keenly aware of what a counselor once explained to me - that I sometimes engage in catastrophic thinking.
The heart is deceptive above all things (Jeremiah 17:9). My feelings are not facts. No matter how I may FEEL, my actions are what will determine my success or my failure. These are the things that I remind myself of daily.
I will put in my ear plugs and stay the course.