Something I have been wrestling with recently is the idea of having something like gastric bypass surgery or lap band surgery. I mean keeping it real, 200 pounds is a lot of weight to lose. People make it on the cover of Women’s Day magazine for half that amount. It is an attainable goal if you are willing to make it your life’s work. But do I want that? I want to be healthier but do I want to dedicate the majority of my life (at least until I lose the weight) to it? Do I want to make diet and exercise the focus of my days for the next SEVERAL years (minimum)? Because that’s what is needed. It can’t be a casual thing - it’s going to have to be a hard core dedication to fitness. Not my kids. Not my husband. Not the church. I can include them all in the process but the focal point will have to be me. And it is hard for me to focus on me.
Now I know that even with these other procedures, there is a lot of work that still needs to be involved. My diet would still need to be balanced (and much more restricted for a period of time). In order to keep the weight off, exercise would have to be a necessity. Emotional issues surrounding food will still be there even if I lose weight. Those would have to be dealt with. I am not ignorant to the fact that it’s still a lot of work. And I know it’s not an easy fix.
But 200 pounds. Am I realistically going to do it? Can I do it? Am I doing more damage to my body and my health by taking so long to do it? Weighing over 350 pounds is not good for one’s health to say the least. For my size, I am blessed to have relatively good health, but how long will that last? The ups and downs in weight, the mental stress, the physical stress...It seems as though the sooner I can knock off a significant portion of that, the better. Right?
But is it dangerous? Is it a cop out? Is it a lack of faith in myself or in God? What if something goes wrong? Is it worth putting myself at risk just to lose weight? What if I gain it all back? Would my insurance cover it? Would my husband even entertain the idea? So many questions and it seems as though all of the answers are subjective.
So for now I am slowly continuing on the path towards better health. I've been watching the food I eat, drinking more water, working in some light exercise. The results are coming but boy is it SLOW. I guess I just need to stay in prayer about the future and see what happens.