Stuff Your Faith
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Bringing Sexy Back

2/16/2016

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This is obviously not me - but this is the exact C-pap machine that, thanks to obstructive sleep Apnea, I get to wear to bed every night.  I know...you don't have to tell me - it's HOT.  Beyonce wishes she had a C-pap like mine.

- The flexible tube.
- The water chamber with five (yes FIVE) moisture levels.
- The ramp-up feature that starts off slow and slowly increases air pressure and
- The fully adjustable full face mask (as opposed to the kind that only goes over your nose). Because really - as if being diagnosed with sleep Apnea wasn't hot enough, I also get to be officially labeled as a night time mouth breather.  Eat your heart out J-Lo.

I don't know where I'd be without it.  Well, yeah I do actually.  I'd probably be sitting in my car in the kid's pickup line at school asleep.  Or sitting asleep at the kitchen table.  Or asleep in the grocery store parking lot.  At least that's where I WAS before I had it. Looking back on it now I wonder how many people that saw me thought I was an addict nodding out.  Again - very attractive.

Getting the Apnea diagnosis and treatment really has been a life changer for me.  But I will not deny that one of the most exciting aspects of losing weight is to someday rid myself of this dreadful/wonderful contraption.

Being able to talk until I fall asleep would be nice.  Now I have to say, "Are we done talking? Because I need to put on my mask now."  That certainly puts a damper on deep conversation.  Not moving the wrong way and having air escape your mask making it sound like you passed gas would be nice - although it still does evoke immature laughing spells somewhat frequently.  Being able to roll over from one side to the other without getting tangled up in a plastic tube would be nice.  Not waking up with very strange lines like this on my face would be nice too.
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So just in case I didn't already have enough motivation, I am going to make this reason 1033 why I am looking forward to dropping a few (hundred) pounds.

Until then I will faithfully continue to end each night thinking of myself as the female version of Darth Vader.
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