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God is in Prison

12/15/2014

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Several months ago, one of the prisons my husband ministers to made the national news. Not because of a high profile inmate, not because of a riot, and not because of some new and cutting edge philosophy on how to reduce repeat offenders. It made the news because a man inside the walls was diagnosed with leprosy - a highly contagious disease that has been all but eradicated over the years.

The disease, typically only found in Indonesia, is so rare that it’s one of those things that doctors here don’t even think to check anymore. So when the inmate presented himself to the prison hospital staff with skin sores, lumps, and muscle weakness, they treated him with various creams with no success. He was miserable and his cell mate knew it. He watched him day and night suffer through the disease with no relief. He prayed for him.

Late Saturday night my husband sat and struggled with what he was going to preach on the next morning when he went into the prison chapel. He prayed and studied like he normally does and decided to preach on the story of the prophet Elisha and Naaman.

As Alfred stood in front of the group of inmates that gathered that morning to worship God and began his sermon, he started by giving them an in depth history of and overview of the disease that plagued Naaman…leprosy. And as the man’s cell mate listened to Alfred speak, he began to realize that everything he was saying described his cell mate to a tee.

He went back to his cellmate, shared the sermon with him and as a result the man with leprosy asked his medical staff to test him for it.

The Great Physician had stepped in. God used my husband to answer this man’s prayer to heal his cell mate and potentially stave off a disastrous outbreak of the disease.

This is just one story of many that I can tell you to show how God is active and alive inside the walls of the prisons in Chillicothe, Ohio. He cares for the men there. He wants to see souls saved in every corner of the world that he created. My husband takes no credit for the things happening there - he deflects any glory to himself and makes sure that people know that he is only being used as a tool.

We have recently found out that a church that has financially provided over half of our monthly income has decided that they can no longer continue to do so. As Alfred’s wife, I desperately want to help him continue in this ministry that has spiritually awakened him and reignited the passion that he has for saving people who are lost in worlds of darkness.

Alfred is not aware of it, but a GoFundMe account was started on his behalf to help burden some of the financial pressures that have weighed on him as of late. If you feel like you would like to assist in this ministry, as his wife, I am not beyond seeking help to ease his burden.

Click here to donate

God is good all the time. We know that He will provide.
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Diff'rent Strokes For Diff'rent Folks

12/11/2014

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When Thomas Edison was trying to invent the light bulb, it is said that it took him nearly 10,000 different refinements before he got it right. He is noted for his famous quote, “I have not failed. I have just found 9,999 ways that do not work.”

I may not have found 9,999 diet tips that don’t work for me, but the number is rapidly climbing.

Cheat days. I know…they are supposed to give you hope for a brighter tomorrow. “Three more days and I can go to Olive Garden and eat whatever I want.” But more accurately for me, it ends up being more along the lines of, “Oh I really want Olive Garden’s Steak Gorgonzola Alfredo. I’ll just make today my cheat day.” Now that would be fine if it wasn’t followed up the next day with, “Oh, I really want some Cheddar Bay Biscuits from Red Lobster. I’ll just use next week’s cheat day today.” Uh-uh…At least for the time being I am not gong to be able to have scheduled cheat days. I know me. And I know that I can justify anything if my flesh is calling to me loud enough.

Walking. This may get the hackles up on every fitness advice giver out there. You would think that because it is such a low impact, low effort activity, it would appeal to me. I. Hate. It. It’s boring. It doesn’t feel effective to me (which makes me less motivated to do it). It’s uncomfortable on problem areas on my body (carrying 11 and 13 pound babies has wreaked havoc on my hips, and plantar fasciitis gets much worse after walking). And did I mention it is boring? Whether it’s eight times around the track or two miles around the neighborhood, I feel like every minute is five and every ½ mile is a mini-marathon. I can not be more dramatic about how much I hate to walk. Negative? Perhaps. But it's my body and I'll cry if I want to.  I am choosing to do something else. As soon as I figure out what that is.

Cutting out major food groups. I like carbs. I like red meat. I like beans. I like fruit. I like sugar. I like wheat. I am aware that any of these things in abundance can be bad for you, so I have no issue with reducing or greatly restricting some of them. But to cut them out completely only makes me want them more. Yes, I know - break yourself of the addiction and that will go away. But I am not planning on going my whole life without sugar…So for me and my lifestyle it makes more sense for to learn to manage having it in a healthy way rather than banning it from my diet forever. Anything that sets me up to break a rule or feel like a failure is a trigger for me to quit completely. I’ve got to make allowances. This is something I have learned.

There are more, but those are three biggies that I feel like I always get guilted into by other well meaning people. And for them, GREAT! I am glad they worked. But for now, I am not there. But by not being there (wherever 'there' is) and recognizing my own limitations, I do feel like I am becoming more aware of what the picture of success needs to look like in my journey.

It’s all about self realization.

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My Confession

12/9/2014

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Growing up in the church it was always my experience that when people turned their backs on their own faith, the fall was always a big one.  People wouldn't just leave the church and live lives that were basically moral and good.  They would leave the church and do drugs.  They would leave and get pregnant.  They would leave and abandon their family.  It seems like the more diligent the Christian was, the more dramatic their fall was.

That's how I feel about my own weight loss journey.  I feel like I've put myself out there for everyone to see.  I get e-mails talking about how I am an encouragement to them during their struggles.  I get messages from people asking when my next blog post is going to be.  I put myself in this situation and I am super thankful for the opportunity to share in my battle with others who understand it.  But as diligent as I thought I was, I fell hard.  And I am struggling to get back up.

My body has suffered the effects of my poor decisions and has in turn made it even more difficult to accomplish the goals that I once had.  "Had I just stayed the course in the first place I could have been 100 pounds lighter by now..." is the mantra that goes through my head multiple times a day.  My view of food has gone from good to guilt ridden.  Every time I eat anything that is not a fruit or vegetable I feel guilty.  When I think about my lack of self-control I feel ashamed. When I think about writing on this blog I feel embarrassed.  (I'm thinking I need to go re-read my previous post about shame, no?)

You know how Charles Barkley said, "I am not a role model?"  Well that is what I want to say.  I am not writing this blog to tell you what to do - because I obviously am a ship sailing in the wrong direction.  I just hope that if you are in the same situation you can read this and feel like you aren't a freak.  That's about as good as I can do at this point.

I am blessed to know a few dieticians and a personal trainer who have offered to give me some tips and guidance pro bono.  I have been in the process of working with my doctor in getting some things looked at and under control so that I can be more active.  I am planning on finishing my vision board that I started long ago.  I am in prayer continually about which direction to take and how to get there.  So now I am just working on getting my life and my brain organized enough to make some changes in the next few weeks.

Writing here regularly is going to be a big part of my new changes.  My posts my be very simple at times (like "I exercised today" simple), but I am going to commit to writing SOMETHING.  I feel like you guys are the most effective accountability partners I have.  Thank you for continuing to support me.  I love you all.  (Sniff)

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