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I'm Ready To Be Normal

5/21/2015

One trip around our city's local festival tonight and I am in pain. This is just one more reason why I look forward to being able to lose this extra weight.

I have weight related plantar fasciitis, achilles tendonitis, and a mild case of arthritis in my lower back and hips. Some of that is from carrying Paul Bunyon for 9 months, but a lot of it is from being overweight. I don't say this for pity...just to let you know where I am coming from.

My family activities, vacation plans, and day to day productivity are greatly affected by the fact that my mobility is an issue. My ability to walk for exercise or heaven forbid, run is severely limited. Is it possible? Sure. I could physically make my body do it for a short amount of time, but going into it I know that I will pay for it for days after - hindering further progress, at least temporarily.

This is one reason why I want to pursue weight loss surgery. I want this to be a non-issue ASAP. Let me get on with my stinking life already!

Still working on it - Keep praying!

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Sometimes, Extreme Measures Need To Be Taken

5/16/2015

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For the first time in a very long time, I feel as though there is light at the end of the weight loss tunnel.

After a lot, lot, lot of prayer and contemplation, we have decided that I am going to actively pursue getting weight loss surgery.

I know it's not right for everyone.
I know it's not going to be an easy fix.
I know that there are habits and behaviors that I still need to address.
I know that there are some physical risks and consequences that come along with the surgery.

We are still in the initial stages. I have been to the OSU Bariatric clinic for a seminar and have spoken to someone in their office. I have spoken with my doctor(s) as well. It is a long process, and my next step is insurance approval. That can take a very long time, depending on whether or not the insurance company deems the surgery as medically necessary. From there you have several types of evaluations that will determine eligibility and help decide which type of surgery to have (gastric bypass, sleeve gastrectomy, or gastric banding (which I currently am not interested in).

I am asking for your prayers. Prayers that if it is indeed God's will for this to happen, that it all goes smoothly - from insurance approval all the way through recovery. Prayers for my husband and kids who will without a doubt feel some effects from the process. And prayers that ultimately this weight loss journey that I have been on can be used in a way that will bring God as much glory as possible and help other people who have the same struggle.

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The Girl Just Wanted Some Nuggets - Part 2

5/6/2015

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So there we were. She was angry. She wasn’t moving. Janet sat stubbornly in the middle of the intersection for what seemed to be at least an hour (but in reality, Rhonda looked at her watch and calculated that it had been just less than five agonizing minutes). Horns were honking, some people were laughing, some people were swearing, and the more Rhonda attempted to rationalize with Janet the more stubborn she became. Rhonda's face flushed hot with a mixture of embarrassment and frustration. Should she leave Janet there and go get help? Should she physically drag Janet out of the street (risking the accusation that she had been too rough with her)? Seconds before Rhonda was ready to decide to just plop down next to Janet and join her, a good Samaritan stepped out of his vehicle and offered the use of his cell phone.

The first call was to the group home manager. One ring.... Two rings....three rings....

"Thank you for calling Mrs. Group Home Manager, I can't come to my phone right now so leave me a message and I'll get back to you."

In one breath, Rhonda spilled it all out. "Hi Mrs. GHM, this is Rhonda. I have a situation. I'm standing at the intersection of Cleveland St. and Abbe Rd. Actually, I'm standing in the middle of the intersection at Cleveland St. and Abbe Rd. Janet got upset. She took off her clothes. She’s naked. NAKED! And she is sitting in the street. Traffic is stopped but I can't budge her. I don't know who else to call so I am going to call the cops. This is not my cell phone so don't call me back at this number. As soon as this is resolved, I'll give you a call. I‘m really sorry. So sorry. I should‘ve just brought my purse."

The second call was to the police.

"Hi. My name is Rhonda and I work for Company X. I have a 40-year-old woman with Down Syndrome that has taken off her clothing and is sitting in the middle of the intersection at Cleveland St. and Abbe Rd. I can't move her by myself, and traffic is getting pretty backed up…Yes ma‘am…Naked. Except for her bra and underwear…Yes, I did try to move her but she‘s very strong…Because she’s mad she didn’t get McNuggets…No, she’s not in immediate danger because traffic has stopped in all directions. But if she takes off again - well, I can‘t guarantee any of our safety."

Then, to Rhonda's dismay - the kind stranger's cell phone battery died. Hopefully the dispatcher had enough information to send the cavalry.

After another 5 or so miserable minutes passed and Janet, who had now long forgotten about the chicken and was now just enjoying the spectacle she had caused, decided to step it up a notch. Off came the bra. But she didn’t take it off normally…she ripped it off Hulk Hogan style. Rhonda tried to block her from the view of others around her but had to back up to avert the spit hurling through the air at her. She tried the sweet approach. She tried the firm approach. She even tried bribing, begging, and pleading. Janet remained planted in the street - sweaty, naked, and angry. Then there it was, Rhonda saw the lights of the cop car approaching. The squad car pulled up and an officer stepped out of the car and started walking toward the scene.

In reality, the officer looked kind of like the high school kid who bags your groceries, but in that moment, Rhonda saw Fabio with his hair blowing in the wind, David Hasselhoff from Baywatch, and Mel Gibson riding in on his horse (Braveheart Mel Gibson, not crazy anti-Semitic Mel Gibson).

"Oooooh!!!! Look Wonda! Cop! Cop!" Janet squealed as she excitedly clapped her hands.

And just like that, Janet stood up and happily waddled over to the man in blue. He sweetly led her by her jiggly, naked hand to the side of the road as Rhonda, somewhat stunned and exasperated, searched the curbs and under the yellow Fiesta for shoes and undergarments.

Sitting in the backseat of the squad car with her legs dangling out of the side, as if she had just stepped out of her morning shower and was dressing on her bed, Janet took her clothes and put them on all by herself. And even though she was completely capable of doing it herself, she shyly asked the cop to tie her shoes for her. Of course he obliged. Of course he melted when she giggled. And he even told her what a pretty young lady she was and what a great job she was doing.

Despite Rhonda’s pleas in the background for him to really throw the book at her, Officer Fabio remained insistent that she should just be taken back to the group home. No handcuffs. No fingerprints. Not even a fake ticket. He sent them on their way with a pat on the head and a “now you behave yourself pretty lady.”

That was the last day that Company X ever allowed group home staff to escort residents with severe behavior issues by themselves. That was also the day Rhonda vowed that as long as there was still breath in her lungs, Janet would never receive chicken nuggets from her again. Unless, of course, it appeared that Janet REALLY wanted them.

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The Girl Just Wanted Some Nuggets

5/5/2015

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Ah yes, it is that time again. Time to fill the page with whimsical tales of Rhonda's group home adventures. Come with me for a minute to a special place... A place filled with anti-psychotic medications, urgent trips to public bathrooms, and slobbery hugs and kisses.

We start today's tale off in Elyria, Ohio. Rhonda, a very kind and nurturing woman with a good head on her shoulders, arrived at work one morning and made the observation that one of her favorite group home residents had a dental appointment later that afternoon. The resident, who's name was "Janet", didn't typically care for medical appointments of any kind, but Rhonda WAS her favorite - she never gave Rhonda any sort of problems. After all, Rhonda was the one that bathed her, made her dinner, gave her necessary medication, trimmed her toenails, changed her sheets when she peed the bed at night, and taught her new and exciting skills like counting pennies and how to not flip over couches and chairs when she got angry. Yeah, things would be fine.

Carefully laying out a game plan, Rhonda stocked her bag with healthy snacks, tricky puzzles, and Janet's favorite - Bert and Ernie books. "The key to any successful outing is successful planning." That was Rhonda's motto. Always prepared for whatever her clients could throw at her.

At 3 o'clock, Rhonda went to the adult education center and went in to sign Janet out for the rest of the day.

"Wooooondaaaa!" Janet exclaimed when she saw Rhonda walk into her classroom. "Wonda, what do you want here?"

Rhonda sat down next to Janet and explained to her in a gentle and slightly overly excited voice that she GOT to go and get her teeth cleaned today and get some stickers afterwards! Oh, Janet was overjoyed. She was well over 300 pounds but at that moment, she moved like a cat. She rushed around the room and within minutes, Janet had her hat, coat, folder, and lunchbox in hand and was ready to go.

Rhonda and Janet cruised the Elyria streets, listening to Janet's favorite - Elvis. The local high school was just releasing students, so there were teenagers everywhere. Janet would occasionally stop singing and point at a long haired high school girl, exclaiming, "Ooooh - she pretty" or "Uh oh, she bad."

The sun was shining, the sultry sounds of Elvis Presley were filling the air, the kids were out of school, and above all - Janet was happy.

Then things took a turn for the worse.

It all started when those dreadful golden arches showed themselves on the horizon. "Wonda - I want McNuggets." Rhonda calmly explained to her that they were on their way to a dental appointment and that there was no time for eating out. "How about a cereal bar or some grapes, Janet? I have some of those for you." Rhonda didn't hear a response but knew that her offer had been denied by the low guttural growls coming from the back seat combined with the observation that the van was swaying back and forth because of Janet's rocking. Her heart began to race. Janet was a big girl. Rhonda new that one false move and things could get ugly pretty quickly.

"Hey Janet! Guess who I saw on TV this morning!?" Despite the lack of response, she continued. "Bert and Ernie! Bert was really upset with Ernie because he kept playing his bugle while Bert was trying to sleep. It was great. Have you seen that one?"

"I want nuggets now Wanda." Rhonda searched her brain for a solution to the problem. Janet was known to have extreme and sometimes violent reactions to disappointment, and that was the last thing She was looking to deal with today. And by the look on Janet's face, it was going that way. Quickly, she scanned the parking lot and observed that there was hardly any line in the drive-thru. If she acted fast, they could still get some nuggets and make it to the dentist on time. She made a quick left turn into the driveway and pulled up to the ordering window. "One, 4 piece McNugget please."

Cheers erupted from the back seat. Rhonda slumped in her drivers seat knowing that another disaster had been averted.

"That'll be $1.19 please" the depressed teenager said from drive-thru window #1.

Just then, all of the blood drained from Rhonda's face. Her heart sped up again, and small beads of sweat began to form on her upper lip. She had no money. She intentionally left her purse at work so that she wouldn't have to carry it around. She began insulting herself in her own mind. "Sooo stupid. That was so dumb. Why would you do that?!" But it was done. She had to get hold of herself and make this situation work. She sheepishly apologized to the girl and slowly pulled out of line and headed towards the intersection again.

"Uhhhh, Janet? I'm sorry honey but I didn't have enough money. We can go out after we get home and I'll take you to get some nuggets then, O.K.?" But it was too late. Before Rhonda could react, she heard the sound of squeaking seat vinyl and felt a rush of wind move past her head. One glance in the rear view mirror confirmed her worst fear - Janet was on the move.

Just then Rhonda heard the van door slide open. She threw the vehicle into Park and swung around to see what was going on. Janet was speed-waddling straight toward the road. With her adrenaline pumping and her super-ninja group home skills finely tuned, Rhonda flung open the door and took off toward her client. Car horns began to beep as Janet crossed into the busy 5 way intersection. Frantic, Rhonda reached out and grabbed Janet's wrist but it was too late. They were in the middle of the road - cars were annoyed on all sides, and Janet and dropped to the ground. She was on her back, throwing a full blown 2 year old temper tantrum complete with kicking, spitting, and screaming.

Rhonda was beside herself. Things could not be any worse. Her cell phone was in the van, Janet was too big for her to physically move by herself. There was no one around to help. Then the situation got even worse. Janet stood up. For a brief second, Rhonda thought that she had mended her ways and was going to calmly come back to the car. No such luck. Janet then kicked both of her shoes into the street, hitting a yellow Ford Fiesta with one of them. But that wasn't the bad part. Despite Rhonda's feeble attempts to prevent it, within seconds, Janet had stripped down to only her bra and very large underwear. And then she sat back down (this time Indian style) in the middle of the road.

Stay tuned for Pt. 2 of the Janet files.

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