Stuff Your Faith
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This One Is For The Fellas

2/25/2015

1 Comment

 
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Let me begin by saying that I am so, so sorry.  I know that when it comes to talking to the women in your life about our weight issues, you just never know what you are going to get.  One day we may throw our arms around you and kiss you for giving us props for getting in that extra workout or avoiding that slice of pizza.  The next day you may say the same thing and we may whiz a pillow at your head and fight back kicking you in the shins.  Or we may just end up in a crumpled, crying heap on the bedroom floor, unable to be consoled by anything you have to say to us.

I could go into a bunch psychology and spiritual teaching about the differences between the two sexes, and it would be truth.  But I know that you guys don’t like all of the flowery details…you just want us to get to the meat of things, right?  That’s what I’ve been told so I’m going to try to honor that for you right now.

Here is the cliff notes version:

- Men and women are very, very, very different.  Our emotions and desired responses in times of doubt or distress are not the same emotions and responses that you have.  So don’t respond as if they were.
- Women want to be beautiful.  Both inside and out.
- Women want to be appreciated for our minds, our spirits, and our unique personalities.
- Women don’t want to be treated like children.

When you say things like, “Is that slice of pizza a part of your diet” or “did you workout today,” what our psyche hears is “You are fatter than I’d like you to be.”  Obviously that is very stripped down, but that’s the nuts and bolts of it.

We torture ourselves about our food choices.  Trust me when I tell you that if your feminine counterpart is eating something she shouldn’t, she has already taken note of that fact and decided that either 1. She doesn’t care at the moment, or 2. She has it under control and can make the difference up somewhere else.

Now I know what you’re thinking.  “But she complains about being overweight.  If I can help her have some accountability…”  Just stop right there.  I’m not saying that you’re wrong.  Accountability is a valuable tool.  But YOU, the predominant male in her life, is not the best person to play that role.  We don’t want you to be our dads.  We don’t want to feel condescended to or judged by you.  Even if your intent is purely positive, we want you to be our place of refuge, not the place that stresses us out.

So what DO you say?  Well, I’d say you should listen to the bluegrass singer Alison Krauss when she said, “You say it best when you say nothing at all.”

Compliment us.  Build us up.  Not about things surrounding our diet and exercise habits, but about our unique qualities that you love.  Give us physical affection.  Show us that you will love us no matter what we look like or how many times we mess up.  Make us feel like we are special to you.

When you feed us with that type of confidence, it will empower us to do much greater things than even you would think possible.  Do not underestimate the power that you have to both cause our hearts to soar or to tear us down.

We want you to be part of our journey.  We want you to share in our victories and we want your shoulder to cry on when we mess up.  Just don’t try to fix us or advise us or rebuke us.  In 1 Peter 3, it says that husband’s should dwell with their wives with understanding.  That’s all we want…is for you to just understand.
1 Comment

Baaaa

2/24/2015

2 Comments

 
Well... I feel sheepish.

You know how I've been frustrated with my blog editor and not being able to log in? And you know how I have been bemoaning the virus on our computer? Well, it appears that I MAY have neglected to pay the annual fee.

I MAY have also neglected to see the big red letters that said "Your account has been suspended, please update your billing information."

Soooo...I am sorry dear people at Weebly. Your website is not a heaping pile of garbage like I may have told someone recently. And to you, Windows Vista...you still stink. But maybe not as severely as I thought.

My focus lately has been suspect to put it mildly. I am blaming it on pre- premenopause.

So I think I am all paid up and ready to get going again. Stay tuned over the next few days. I want to talk about being crazy and I have a blog just for the men out there who have no idea how to support our weight loss efforts without getting murdered or cried on.

It feels good to be baaaa-ck.
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2 Comments

Meatballs

2/5/2015

0 Comments

 
It's a little after midnight. Everyone is in bed after a very long and busy day.

Everyone except for me and a bowl of leftover meatballs in marinara sauce from two days ago. They called to me and I responded.

Now they are gone and it's just me and my guilt having a late night pity party.

Today wasn't so great...gotta stay on track!
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